I knows of a girl who wents to a faire to be hired as a servent. A really funny-looking mans whe was a gentleman hired her and took her to his house. When she got there, he said he was real nice and would treat her good and not be nasty or nuffin. But he did wanta teach her some things for this was his house and he had his own name for everythings. 

He said to her, "What will you call me?"

"Master or Mister, or whatever you please, Sir," says she.

"No, no. You must call me 'Master of all Masters.’ and what would you call this?" pointing to his bed.

"Bed or couch or whatever you please, Sir".

"No that is my 'barnacle.’ And what you call these?" he asked, pointing to his pants.

"Breeches, or whatever you please, Sir".

"You must call them 'squibs and crackers.’ And what would you call her?" he asked pointing to the cat.

"Cat or kit, or whatever you please, Sir."

"You must call her 'white-faced simminy.’ And what is this now," showing the fire.

"Fire or flame or whatever you please, Sir."

"You must call it "hot cockalorum.’ And what would you call this?" asked he, pointing at the water.

"Water or wet or whatever you please, Sir."

"No. 'Pondalorum’ is its name. And what would you call all this?" he asked pointing to the house.

"House or cottage or whatever you please, Sir."

You must call it 'high topper mountain.’"

That very night the servent woke her master up in a fright and said, "Master of all Masters, get out of your barnacle and put on your squibs n crackers. For white-faced simminy has got a spark of hot cockalorum on its tail and unless you get some pondalorum, high topper mountain will be all on hot cockalorum"....

That’s all.